Flathead County Police Blotter

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland) 05/29/2018 at 13:19 • Filed to: Police blotter

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7:40 a.m. A man was found slumped over in Kalispell. Initially law enforcement thought the man was drunk but it turns out he had just dozed off sober.

8:12 a.m. A Kalispell man called law enforcement to report that his neighbor’s cow could gain a few pounds. Animal control swung by and found that the cow was perfectly healthy.

8:21 a.m. Someone was screaming at their baby in Somers.

8:48 a.m. A Whitefish resident reported someone sitting in the bushes.

9:19 a.m. A man was walking down the street with a jacket, combat boots and no pants.

9:20 a.m. A Martin City dog bit its owner.

10:49 a.m. A Bigfork resident reported that a computer has been sitting on the side of the road for the last four days. Although the computer has been there for nearly a week not bothering anyone, the caller is concerned that it will somehow become a traffic hazard.

11:20 a.m. The theme of abandoned electronics continued when a Kalispell man getting his morning paper reported seeing electronics strewn about the neighborhood, including computer screens and CD players.

12:09 p.m. Someone threw a rock at a window.

1:03 p.m. A man was very upset about robo calls.

1:41 p.m. Some local parents were concerned that their son was trying to buy drugs in Great Falls.

1:59 p.m. A Kila resident reported that “Bruce and his friends” were stockpiling explosives and doing some “real Project 7 type stuff,” a reference to an anti-government paramilitary group that declared war on the sheriff’s office in the early 2000s.

2:36 p.m. A Flathead County man called police because his friend has “gone nuts!”

3 p.m. Someone was accused of being a “big baby” and was dared to “call the cops” about it.

4:29 p.m. A Kalispell man called 911 because he had “an emergency” and he needed some “lady cops” to respond immediately.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:32

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Aww yeah...

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:33

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4:29 p.m. A Kalispell man called 911 because he had “an emergency” and he needed some “lady cops” to respond immediately.

I have so much respect for cops. Cops, teachers, firemen and ambulance drivers don’t get paid nearly enough.

It’s a shame they didn’t send somebody, this guy probably deserves to get tased in the nuts

For Sweden > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:35

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Sounds like tourist season has begun

functionoverfashion > Future next gen S2000 owner 05/29/2018 at 13:38

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This was exactly what he was imagining.

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:40

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7:40 a.m. A man was found slumped over in Kalispell. Initially law enforcement thought the man was drunk but it turns out he had just dozed off sober.

This was me, kinda. I was once driving from Ann Arbor to Indy on I-69, which anybody who has driven can tell you is mind-numbingly boring. I was starting to get hypnotized by the road. So, I stopped on the shoulder and put my head down for a few minutes. I was awakened by fir trucks and EMTs pulling up behind me. Somebody had seen me slumped over the wheel and called 911. The EMTs wouldn’t let me go until I had passed a field neurological exam to their satisfaction.

Good response time for the middle of nowhere. I wasn’t stopped more than 15 minutes.

Chariotoflove > For Sweden 05/29/2018 at 13:42

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The more I read these, the more I think I could do with a vacation in Kalispell.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > For Sweden 05/29/2018 at 13:42

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Brace yourselves the Minnesotans are coming.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 05/29/2018 at 13:43

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If you like nature and rivers and mountains, and guns and trucks, and fish and bears, then this is a good place to vacation.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:44

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TBH a lady cop is gonna kick your ass harder than a male cop.

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:47

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You say that like it wasn’t the caller’s objective.

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:48

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Best vacation I ever had was in a cabin on Big Star Lake in MI. Give me water, a couple good books, food, and nothing to do, and I’m set.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:49

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I can’t tell if I need to come visit or stay as far away as possible...

smobgirl > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 13:52

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I mean, what else is there to do in Great Falls?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > smobgirl 05/29/2018 at 14:02

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sip_%27n_Dip_Lounge

This is about the only other thing I’d bother with.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 05/29/2018 at 14:03

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There are lots of tourists here so it seems like a nice place to visit.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 05/29/2018 at 14:05

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I am guessing it was his objective, too much time on the Internets.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 14:05

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And then run away as soon as possible when you see the youths doing the vaping.

Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 14:12

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Hey now! You leave us out of this. Cheese and crackers!

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 15:47

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I’m down. If it wasn’t for all the snow, I’d probably live there.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 05/29/2018 at 15:50

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What’s wrong with a little snow?

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 16:05

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My point, you made it.

ranwhenparked > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/29/2018 at 19:12

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I’m assuming that there’s really only one thing on that list that they’ve decided to actually dedicate meaningful resources to investigating.

I mean, you can’t just have people daring each other to call the police. This is supposed to be a society we’re living in, after all. Whatever happened to calling in to local public radio shows under false pretenses, and just yelling “Howard Stern’s penis” before they hang up on you?